SSBM: The Bachelor
by Inu 4 ever
Summary: Okie, the last three chapters are alll posted! have fun reading them!
1. Default Episode

Kiseki: Okie guys this is my ~*~first~*~ fic so please be nice, but if you have suggestions I'll be glad to hear them!!  
  
Rakuten: *rolls eyes*  
  
Kiseki: oh by the way Rakuten is my muse, he is the optimism panda, although he is not very optimistic towards me. *evil looks*  
  
Rakuten: *grrrrrr*  
  
Kiseki: Alright alright, im getting the fic ready!! And as I have changed my screenname throughout the story, this is my fic name. ^_^  
  
Rakuten: *falls asleep*  
  
Episode One: The Intro  
  
Kiseki: HELLO everybody!! I am the announcer for this game show. *looks around* HEY!! Where in the yellow trees is the audience???  
  
**author's.note: I got the no audience thing from MB!**  
  
Random Camera boy: uh..sir..we..uh..never scheduled an audience.  
  
Kiseki: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEVER "SCHEDULED" AN AUDIENCE?!?! They are supposed to pay TO WATCH THIS SHOW!!!  
  
Same boy: *mumbles* okay well then nobody PAID for tickets.  
  
Kiseki: WHAAAAAAT!?!?!?!  
  
*boy runs away*  
  
Kiseki: Ahem.Well will our bachelor come out.and HEEEEEEEEERE comes LINK!!!!  
  
*claps as if he is the audience*  
  
Link: Hello hello, now dear fans.wait where ARE the fans??  
  
Kiseki: *rolls eyes* There aren't any, sit your Hyrulian butt down on the stool right there.  
  
Link: *stares in disbelief* NO FANS????? *sobs* But they LOOOOOOVE me!! I was on the Zasshi front cover six times in a row!!  
  
**author's note: zasshi means magazine in Japanese, here it is used as a magazine title**  
  
Kiseki: **mumbles** well not everybody reads porn magazines.  
  
Link: HEY!! I HEARD THAT!!  
  
Kiseki: **rolls eyes again** Well let's get on with the show. Let's meet our five bachelorettes!!  
  
Link: ooh goody!! Let's see those booties!!  
  
Kiseki: Stop being so perverted! **coughs** Okay, bachelorette number one comes from a place very far away. She spends most of her time on space ships, and wears a hot suit made of iron.let's welcome SAMUS ARAN!!  
  
Link: **strains eyes to see the shadow of bachelorette number one.**  
  
Aran: **blows a kiss through the sheet.**  
  
Kiseki: Welcome Samus. Now our next bachelorette comes from a nearby village.although she's a princess she doesn't have much luck with guys.let's meet Princess ZELDA!!  
  
Link: **to himself** where have I heard that name before.  
  
Zelda: **walks daintily to her stool**  
  
Kiseki: Alright.Bachelorette number three.you've seen her on TV shows, read about her in magazines, and now it's time to meet her in person! Meet JIGGLYPUFF!!  
  
Link: **falls off chair anime style** HOLY MONKEY BALLS!! SHE'S A PUFFBALL!!  
  
Kiseki: Don't be so rude.she's a pokemon.  
  
Link: **rolls eyes**  
  
**Through the curtain you see Jigglypuff getting help onto her stool by Princess Zelda.**  
  
Kiseki: Now.Bachelorette number four has been married twice.but it was to two brothers, and it didn't work out, so now she's back for some real action.welcome Princess PEACH!!  
  
Link: didn't I see her already??  
  
Kiseki: No you idiot that was Princess Zelda! You stupid head.  
  
Link: O.O  
  
Kiseki: Now number five and our last Bachelorette.She is also a princess who comes from a nearby area. Unlike the rest of our guests, she has five appendages, which in itself is all very sexy.meet bachelorette number five.Princess RUTO!!  
  
Link: **falls off stool again** I didn't know she was BLUE.  
  
Kiseki: Shut-up you baka!  
  
**author's note: there are two kinda of baka, this one means stupid.sorta**  
  
Link: OOH NO!! You DIDN'T!! You just spoke Japanese!! YOU.YOU.MARTH/ROY SYMPATHIZER!!  
  
Kiseki:**rolls eyes.for the third time.**  
  
Link: **gets up and starts yelling and pointing.** IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!! YOU ARE ALL JAPANESE FREAKS! THAT'S WHY THERE ISN'T AN AUNDIENCE, THAT'S WHY TWO OF THE GUESTS ARE UNHUMAN, TWO OF THEM LOOK LIKE TWINS, AND ONE OF THEM LOOKS LIKE A MAN!! YOUR ARE ALL PLANNING AGAINST ME! I WILL GET MY REVENGE!! YOU WILL NO-**falls down**  
  
Kiseki: finally he shut up. Thanks Peach for the frying pan.  
  
Peach: No problem. *sits back down*  
  
Kiseki: Stay tuned.next episode.The Question Round.  
  
Peach: and REVIEW! Otherwise I'll hit YOU with a frying pan.  
  
~END~  
  
Kiseki: Well that wasn't so bad was it??  
  
Rakuten: **sleeping**  
  
Kiseki: YOU DIDN'T EVEN WATCH?? **tear tear**  
  
Rakuten: **rolls over**  
  
Kiseki: aye yai yai. 


	2. Episode Two: The Question Round Part 1

Akira: Okie in this story my name is Kiseki, as it was my original self- proclaimed name, but I changed it to Akira.  
  
Rakuten: *evil glare*  
  
Akira: yes that evil glare is for all of you lame non-readers(this does not include you, MB and ECD!)  
  
Rakuten: *stands in attack posture*  
  
Akira: Alright, well im getting this lame chapter started. By the way The Rage Beat and Slow Sleepless Beauty are awesome songs!!  
  
Episode Two: The Question Round  
  
Kiseki: WELCOME INVISIBLE AUDIENCE TO.THE BACHELOR!! Today our five bachelorettes are going to ask Link questions, in which he is obliged to answer.**evil laugh** Now let's welcome out guest!! HEEEEEERE'S LINK!! *AN: I stole invisible audience from MB.^_^  
  
Link: Thank you! Thank you **bows to the non-existent audience.**  
  
Kiseki: Now Link the girls will ask you questions, just call on the bachelorettes by number.  
  
Link: Bachelorette number five.  
  
Ruto: Do you remember me?  
  
Link: .um.no  
  
Ruto: **sobs**  
  
Kiseki: now that Link made Ruto cry, I'll call on the girls. Number one.  
  
Samus: .uh.I thought this was a game show.  
  
Link: it is! You dummy! The prize is ME! **glows with pride**  
  
Samus: I mean a real game show with MONEY as a prize.  
  
Link: .well I'm better than money!  
  
Samus: you wanna prove that you pansy?  
  
Link: PANSY?!?!? GET YOUR UGLY MAN-LIKE SELF OUT HERE!!!  
  
**Suddenly you see a glowy thing from behind the curtain, and Link cowering under his chair. Then you hear WHOOSH! And there's a big hole through the curtain.**  
  
Samus: **walks through hole** NOW WHERE IS THE PIPESQUEAK!?!?  
  
**sees him under chair**  
  
Samus: **laughs** I shoulda known that he'd be hiding, how childish.  
  
Link: **gets up** THAT'S UNCALLED FOR!! **Gets master sword out**  
  
Samus: what is that? A toothpick?  
  
Link: HOW DARE YOU!!  
  
**Kiseki sits there looking amused**  
  
Zelda: um.announcer.are you going break up that fight?  
  
Kiseki: .no  
  
Zelda: **sighs**  
  
**Link is being chased by Samus who is throwing various objects at him.**  
  
Samus: COME BACK HERE YOU CHICKEN!!  
  
Link: NOOOOO!! O.O;;  
  
**Samus takes a huge chunk of ice and throws it at him**  
  
Link: X_X  
  
Samus: MUAHAHAHA!! VICTORY IS MINEEEEEEEEEEEE!!  
  
**Link kicks Samus in the back of the leg and she falls..THUD**  
  
Samus: YOU..WILL..DIE!! (you know like San from Princess Mononoke when she threatens Ashitaka???)  
  
Link: **huddled up in a ball** Don't hurt me!!  
  
Samus: *throws cotton balls at Link*  
  
Link: OUCH!! YOU DEMON!!  
  
**Inu-Yasha pops up**  
  
Inu-Yasha: DON'T BE HATIN' ON DEMONS YOU HUMAN FILTH!!!  
  
**he disappears**  
  
Link and Samus: O_O  
  
Zelda: **sees as opportune moment**  
  
**Zelda uses her magic and puts Link on top of a book shelf, and also sends Samus back home**  
  
Kiseki: HEY! You weren't supposed to do that.  
  
Link: HEY! HOW'D I GET UP HERE???  
  
Samus: What the..?  
  
Kiseki: Alright back to the questions.  
  
Jigglypuff: JIGGY-PUFF!!  
  
Kiseki: .um.I have no idea what that thing said.  
  
Link: I need to pee.  
  
Zelda: Shut-up you cry baby.  
  
Link: =-{  
  
Kiseki: Sigh.Tune in next time for Question Round part two.  
  
Peach: and review or I'll get my golf club out!  
  
~End~ 


	3. Episode Three: The Question Round Part 2

Akira: Alrighty, chapter three is up.yeah it's kinda bogus, but hey it's my first.  
  
Saiyaku: Oh shut-up, don't forget to answer marth_fan14's question.  
  
Mitsukai: Oh you need to be quiet you mad cow!  
  
Saiyaku: Are you suggesting I have mad cow disease??  
  
Mitsukai: I'm not suggesting! I know!  
  
Saiyaku: **a moo-like hisssss**  
  
Akira: **sigh** You guys shut-up. Anywho math_fan14, yes I am insulting Link a little, it's kinda of an inside joke, but other characters get insulted.like in this one for example.X_X  
  
Saiyaku: What'd you do that for?  
  
Mitsukai: Didn't want her giving away the ending.  
  
Episode Three: Question Round Part Two  
  
**sounds in background** ????: NO! UNHAND ME!! EVIL FIENDS!! HOW DARE YOU!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!  
  
Kiseki: **cough** Okay let's welcome back our five bachelorettes!!  
  
Link: Don't you mean four? Cuz didn't Zelda do something to Samus.  
  
**evil twinkle in Kiseki's eye**  
  
????: NO!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!! I WILL NEVER DO SUCH A THING!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOT THAT!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! YOU CAN- mmmff!!! MMMMF!!!!  
  
Link: **scared** Whaaa..aaat was that??  
  
Kiseki: **evil grin** that's a surprise.  
  
Link: uh oh. O.o;  
  
Kiseki: now that all our guests are in place, let's begin with the questions. Peach?  
  
Peach: Are you always so babyish?  
  
Link: #o.o Are you BRAINDEAD?? SHE ATTACKED ME, YOU LESBIAN!!  
  
Peach: UH! How dare you!! You tiny little short man.why I oughta!!  
  
Kiseki: STOP! Although last week was very amusing, I cannot allow you to hurt our bachelor.tax purposes.  
  
Peach: O.O  
  
Kiseki: Okay where were we?? Ahhh yeah right right. Ruto?  
  
Ruto: Link, have you read any of the articles about you?  
  
Link: .no..why?  
  
Ruto: just.wondering.  
  
Link: TELL ME!!  
  
Ruto: ALRIGHT YOU WHINEY CHICKEN TREE!! THEY ALL SAY YOU ARE GAY WITH.**shuts up**  
  
Link: GAY?!?!?!? WITH WHO!?!?! TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!  
  
Ruto: I'm not saying anymore!  
  
Link: ARGH!! **runs through the curtain and tries to strangle Princess Ruto.**  
  
Link: YOU.**holds her neck** MUST.TELL.**shakes her head back and forth**ME!!!!!  
  
Ruto: X.X  
  
JigglyPuff: JIG! Jiggy-PUFF!!  
  
Kiseki: Does anybody know what the heck she just said??  
  
All: Nope.  
  
Jigglypuff: # +.+ **sings**  
  
All: Asleep.  
  
About 2 hours later.  
  
Link: AHHHH!! YOUR FACE!! IT'S BEEN SCARRED!! **runs around and screams like a little girl**  
  
Peach: Talk about ugly, who did the improvements to Link's face?  
  
Link: I HEARD THAT WITCH!  
  
Zelda: I don't know, but do you smell something burning??  
  
Kiseki: Where'd JigglyPu-HOLY FUDGING BUNNIE BUTTS!! THE STUDIO IS ON FIRE!!  
  
Outside.  
  
Samus: MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!! THAT'S ONLY WHAT YOU DESERVE!! JUST AS I DESERVE THE SHIKON NO TAMA!! Wait.that's not in the script.whoops. let's start that again.  
  
**Samus tries again**  
  
Samus: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THAT'S ONLY WHAT YOU DESERVE FOR TYING ME UP!! YOU OLD HAG!! YOUR MAGIC WILL NEVER GET ME!!! THANKS TO THAT WRETCHED PUFFBALL I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
All inside: O.O  
  
Ruto: Can't breathe.must.get.into..WATER!  
  
Zelda: **uses magic and transports everybody outside.**  
  
Samus: uh oh.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-X.X  
  
Peach: Finally! Oh no! She bent my tennis racket!!  
  
Kiseki: Link will buy you a new one.  
  
Link: **unconscious on the floor** NO!!!! I GOTTA GET TO THE STATION!! MUST.DO..MAGAZINE..COVER!! NEED.TO.CALL.gay FRIEND!!  
  
All: **snickers**  
  
Zelda: do you think we should tell him about this?  
  
Ruto: Nah.  
  
Peach: REVIEW!! OR I'LL WACK YOU WITH MY TENNIS RACKET!! 


	4. Episode Four: The Untitled

Akira: Yep, another chapter in this lame-o story. But I guess I can at least say I've had some fun writing it.  
  
Link: Yeah making me miserable.  
  
Akira: oh bite me!  
  
Link: **disappears**  
  
Akira: Okie well I want to finish this so I can go read Inu-yasha fics.ahhhh ^_^  
  
Episode Four: The Untitled  
  
Kiseki: Well those questions didn't go so well, so instead of more questions, we are going to embarrass Link!! So stay tuned for fun as we bring our guest!!  
  
Link: HELLO!! Wow I really have to get used to this no audience thing.so what's the scoop for today? More questions??  
  
Kiseki: .um.sure.  
  
Link: HEYY!! You don't sound too sure about that!!  
  
Kiseki: Just shut-up and look cute.oh sorrie am I asking too much? **mean look**  
  
Link: that hurt! **A.N.borrowed from MB as she says it all the time**  
  
Kiseki: Alright, Samus who might that be on the phone?  
  
Samus: MMMFF mmmMMMmmmFf.  
  
Kiseki: Oooh.Talim isn't it?  
  
Samus: **nods head**  
  
Link: TALIM?!?!?! **thinks.OH NO!! I'M DEAD!**  
  
Kiseki: And is Talim watching the show?  
  
Samus: **nods head**  
  
Kiseki: and what is she saying?  
  
Samus: MMMM!!  
  
Kiseki: Oh right.Link untie her mouth.  
  
Link: ME?? Why ME?!??!  
  
Kiseki: Cuz you are the torturee  
  
Link: O.o;;  
  
**Unties Samus**  
  
Samus: Finally you jackrabbit! Talim said that either you were going to untie me or she was going to come down here and whoop you all!  
  
Kiseki: Rrrright.  
  
Samus: **sticks tongue out**  
  
Kiseki: So Samus, ask Talim if she has any secrets about Link.  
  
Samus: She does.  
  
Kiseki: **tries to look surprised** And what might they be?  
  
~!~Link: NOOOO!! MY LIFE!! IS.RUINED!!  
  
Samus: **evil grin** We-ell, she said that Link asked her out in the first ten minutes he saw her, that horny devil. 'Course she said no. Then later that night she woke up cuz he was leaning over her breathing real heavy. Of course she started beating im up, and somehow found a stick and kept stabbing Link in the leg. Ever wondered why it took seven years for him to beat Ocarina of Time? Link was in therapy! He had to learn to walk, because she stabbed him so bad!! That's also why he wears pantyhose, cuz he is embarrassed of those horrendous scars!!. ^_^  
  
Link: **fainted**  
  
Kiseki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Might Talim know why he wears a dress??  
  
Samus: **into phone** Did ya hear that question Talim? Ooo.wow that is some pretty radical information. Thanks!!  
  
Kiseki: what'd she say? What'd she say???  
  
Samus: Hold your horses, you monkeybutt.  
  
Kiseki: EXCUSE ME??? WHAT did you just call ME?????  
  
Samus: **screams**MONKEY BUTT MONKEY BUTT!!  
  
Kiseki: AHHHHHHHH **throws clipboard at Samus** **bounced off her forehead**  
  
Samus: no you di'nt!  
  
Kiseki: Oh yes I did you.you.TURTLE SOUP!!  
  
Samus: Turtle soup?? NOOO!!! NOW YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!!! TAKE THAT BACK!!  
  
Kiseki: BITE ME WITCH!!!  
  
Samus: **starts crying** YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!!!  
  
Kiseki: Right right.**tapes her mouth up again and takes the phone**  
  
Kiseki: Darn Talim hung up.  
  
**mysterious figure is seen in doorway**  
  
????: WHERE IS SAMUS?!?!?!?!?  
  
Kiseki: She's right here, you can take her if you want.  
  
????: **runs to Samus** My poor baby!!! WHAT'D THEY DO TO YOU??? Your armor is all scratched and WHAT IS THIS??? You have a bump the size of MARS on your head!! WHO DID THIS!?!??!!?  
  
Samus: **points eyes at Kiseki**  
  
Kiseki: Don't blow a gasket you old hag.  
  
????: HAG?!?!?! I BEG YOUR PARDON!! You little scoundrel!! I will beat you and fry you over a fire for what you've done to my baby!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH **charges**  
  
Kiseki: **dodges cuz she's faster**  
  
????: I WILL GET YOU DEVIL WOMAN!!!  
  
Kiseki: Right right.Well stay tuned next week for Episode Five: The Mystery Assassin.  
  
~End~  
  
**Mitsukai and Saiyaku appear**  
  
Mitsukai: Hey! Where did the authoress go?!?!  
  
Saiyaki: Stupid! Did you not hear her?? She went to go read Inu-Yasha fics!  
  
Mitsukai: I am NOT stupid!! **punches Saiyaku in the face**  
  
Saiyaku: you are SOO stupid! **disappears in a cloud of dust**  
  
Mitsukai: HEY! Where did you go?!?! Wahhh!! I'm alone!! **disappears in a beam of light** 


	5. Episode Five: The Mystery Assassin

Akira: Yes I know, I am posting the last few chapters all together, but I am finally done, and I want to be completely done with them on FF.N.  
  
Mitsukai: Yeah so she can work on that other story!  
  
Akira: That is NOT it!  
  
Saiyaku: Yes it is!!  
  
Akira: Oh so what now? You guys are ganging up on me??  
  
Mitsukai and Saiyaku: **grins**yep  
  
Akira: So what if it's true?!?!  
  
Mitsukai: That's what we are saying!!  
  
Akira: **sigh.** Whatever, let's start this.  
  
Episode Five: The Mystery Assassin  
  
Kiseki: Samus, I have decided that you are officially KICKED OFF this show.  
  
Samus: Hallelujah!  
  
Kiseki: .NOT!!  
  
Samus: **cries**  
  
Mystery Assain: LET HER LEAVE, YOU FREAK OF UGLY NATURE!!!!!!  
  
Kiseki: I MAY BE A FREAK, BUT I AM NOT UGLY!! O.O###### (tick marks) **gets out toothpick sword**  
  
M.A. **laughs hyseterically** (for you ofalloners, think Sakmua's Oberon) YOU are going to stab me with a TOOTHPICK?? THAT'S PATHETIC!!  
  
Kiseki: rrright.**swork transforms**  
  
M.A.: Holy **bleep bleeeeeeeeep**  
  
**Marth pops in from MB's first fic** NOT HOLY!! NOT HOLY!! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN???? **wacks M.A. and vanishes**  
  
M.A.: X_X  
  
Samus: Wow.that was weird.  
  
Kiseki: **mutters**gotta thank him later.  
  
M.A. AHHHHH!!! MY ARM IS BLEEDING!!!!  
  
Kiseki: **yawns** put a sock it it!! Heeeeeeere's Linky-boy!!  
  
Link: zzzzz**drooling**  
  
M.A.: AHHHH!! The ugliness of the elf blinds me!!!!! **leaves**  
  
Kiseki: WAKE UP YOU STUPIDHEAD!!  
  
Link: huh? What? What did I miss??  
  
Kiseki: Nothing, its your time to pick a chick and get this lame game show over with.  
  
**in background**  
  
Samus: NO!!!! MY LOVE!!! COME BACK TO ME!!!!!!! **cries**  
  
Kiseki: rrright.so Link who do you pick??  
  
Link: ummm...  
  
Kiseki: Would it be bachelorette # 1? The insecure and emotionally unstable, Samus!?!??  
  
Link: .  
  
Kiseki: **ignores Link** Or Bachelorette #2, the lovely yet anti-link, ZEDLA!!!!!  
  
Link: ..  
  
Kiseki: ugh, link you are sooo gay!!  
  
Link: HEY!  
  
Kiseki: Let's move on to bachelorette number 3. The Watermelon sized JIGGLYPUFF!!!!  
  
Jigglypuff: Jiggy?? **looks around frantically** Akira: **taks a sip of rain**  
  
Link: **mouth open wide to the floor, anime style**  
  
Kiseki: What's your problem?? Or maybe it will be bachelorette number 4 Princess Peach!! WAIT!! Where'd she go???  
  
**sees note on chair**  
  
Dear Kiseki,  
Sorry I left without saying good-by, but you were fighting with that mystery assassin. I'm off with the Mario Brothers!!  
Love(not)  
Peach Kiseki: ooooh.oh well!  
  
Link: How'd you know?  
  
Kiseki: Know what?  
  
Link: That I was .  
  
Kiseki: Bachelorette number five, the MB proclaimed whore!! Blue-fish Ruto!!  
  
Link:**sobs** I'M GAY!!  
  
Kiseki: I know, but pick a freak anywho.  
  
Link: DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!  
  
Kiseki: Yes I did, but we're outta time!! Tune in next time for who link picks.  
  
Link: BUT YOU DON'T GET IT!!  
  
Kiseki: **sips more rain**  
  
**MB appears**  
  
MB: I WANT RAIN!! ** she steals it and runs away laughing.**  
  
~end  
  
Akira: Yep another episode gone by.  
  
Saiyaku: What was the big idea? Starting the show before I could have a last word?!?!  
  
Akira: That was the POINT you stupid cow fairy.  
  
Mitsukai: You can't mean that! Otherwise I'd be the sister of a stupid cow fairy!!  
  
Akira: oh what? And that bother's you??  
  
Mitsukai:.yes.  
  
Akira: **sigh**  
  
Saiyaku: I get the last word!! 


	6. Episode Six: The End finally!

Mitsukai: see!! I told you she is rally trying to get these things done!!  
  
Akira: so what if I am!?! Get off my back!!  
  
Saiyaku: sheesh, don't bite my head off.  
  
**bell rings**  
  
Saiyaku and Mitsukai: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! **with a beam of light and a cloud of dust they disappear**  
  
Akira: **whew** Thanks MB!  
  
MB: No problem.  
  
Akira: GO READ HER FICS NOW!! Her s/n is Mango Barbie. GO.NOW!! ^_^  
  
Chapter Six: The End (finally!)  
  
Kiseki: Okie now we are finally at the end, of this incredibly stupid show!  
  
Link: Boy are you ever right!  
  
Kiseki: I wasn't asking for your opinion!!  
  
Link: **grumble grumble**  
  
Kiseki: Alright, now that Samus's lover is gone, who do you pick??  
  
Link: umm..**looks really nervous**  
  
**door burst open**  
  
M.A.: Alright Kiseki, I'll be taking my Samus back, thank-you very much!  
  
Kiseki: **rolls eyes**  
  
M.A.: I'M NOT KIDDING!!  
  
Kiseki: Alright, alright take her!!  
  
M.A.: **mouth drops open to the floor** what did you say?  
  
Kiseki: I SAID **screams at top of lungs**YOU CAN TAKE THAT WENCH!!  
  
M.A.: Oh okie, well I'll be taking her then.  
  
Samus: YES!!  
  
**Inu-Yasha appears** Hey! Are you that old hag who was using my lines!!?!  
  
Samus: **gulps**  
  
M.A.: YEAH! So what are you going to do about it?!?  
  
Inu-Yasha: I'm going to-**was cut off by Kagome**  
  
Kagome: He's going to sue you!  
  
Inu-Yasha: HEY! Who told you to come along??  
  
Kagome: Well duh, noone has to invite me you idiot.  
  
Inu-Yasha: . O.O ###  
  
Sango: Kagome, we're leaving!  
  
Kagome: Come Inu-yasha!  
  
Inu-Yasha: Since when am I your dog?!?!  
  
Kagome: Since you had ears, sit boy!  
  
Inu-Yasha: **FOOMP**  
  
**they leave**  
  
All: O.O ;;  
  
M.A.: What was that all about?  
  
Samus: I dunno, but I'm sure happy they left!  
  
Kiseki: WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**takes a breath* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Dude what is your problem!?!?  
  
Kiseki: I DIDN'T GET INU-YASHA'S AUTOGRAPH! THAT'S WHAT YOU STUPID MONKEY BRAIN!!!  
  
Link: .um.yeah sure whatever.  
  
Kiseki: **eyes glowing red with anger* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! **chases after Link** GET OFF...MY SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Glady!!  
  
**Door opens and Captain Falcon walks in**  
  
C.F. Hey there you are Link! Where have you been all this week?? The Zasshi crew have all been worried sick about you!! And I, myself, have been wondering why you weren't there! We missed the photo shoot for that gay magazine!!  
  
Link: O.o;; um guys.this is my friend.  
  
C.F. : FRIEND?? Is that ALL you think of me?!?!  
  
Link: **sigh** Okie Kiseki this is my boyfriend.  
  
Kiseki: GET.OUT.OFF.MY.STAGE.AND.OUT.OF.MY.STATION!!! ALLLLLLL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: okie, guess it's all done with.  
  
C.F.: Whoa what's her problem?  
  
Link: Inu-Yasha came and he left before she could get his autograph.  
  
C.F.: **jaw drops**  
  
Link: What's your problem?!  
  
C.F.: You mean I missed Miroku?!?!?  
  
Link:.um.he didn't come, just Sango.  
  
C.F.: Well at least Kagome would've given him this letter!!  
  
Link: **shakes head** Come on lovey-poo, let's get to the Zasshi station.  
  
C.F.: WAHHHHH!! I MISSED MY CHANCE!!  
  
All the bachelorettes: Well, that was truly stupid.  
  
Kiseki: LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
  
~End  
  
Epiolouge: Link and Captain Falcon got their photo shoot, the whole world knows about their affair. And Miroku heard of Captain Falcon chasing him, and ran off. No one has heard of him since. As for Kiseki, she spent the rest of her life learning Japanese and collecting everything Inu-Yasha in the world. The Bachelorettes, well they are happy that Link didn't pick any of them and have found their own darling husbands.who are, in fact, not gay. Oh and the mystery assassin.will always be a mystery. ^_^  
  
**At the end, all there is, is a white room with two creatures in it**  
  
Mitsukai: Aww.what a cute story!!  
  
Saiyaku: Yeah right, are you on drugs or something??  
  
Mitsukai: No I am NOT of drugs, but master is happy.  
  
Saiyaku: Yeah.sure.whatever.  
  
**beans of light and clouds of dust cover the sky, and Mitsukai and Saiyaku are gone** 


End file.
